We want happiness because it feels good. It nurture our life quality, it nurture our friendship and relations to others. Happiness is something that genuinely motivate us, enlighten us from fear. It help us to think clearer and find a better way out, better outcomes.
As a child, I used to read books about biography of the famous inventors in history. Most of them have difficult life, misunderstood, and dealing with depression. At first I thought to be a famous inventor or great renown people we must live a suffering life. That thought leads me to trust karma's existence. I embrace sadness unconsciously, believing that the more I suffer the happier I will be later. Of course, I will learn that that's not the way to happiness. The only thing that suffering do to our happiness is to make us realize how precious happiness is, how important it is to live a happy life.
So I learn that happiness is not a goal, it's a reaction and choice. We can be happy right here right now. When bad things happened to us, we can choose to react impulsively or walk around it to see the bright side and keep our happiness alive.
I found the real happiness by learning more about myself. Knowing what makes me unhappy and what's my problem, and appreciate everything that happens in my life. Even if it's the smallest thing, we should appreciate it as gift. The greatest power in this world is love, and love is happiness. When we love something, we fight for it. We won't give up to something we really love. We always stay and looking for a way out. That's why so many people suggest us to love ourselves first before loving something elses.
By loving myself, I learned to talk nicely to myself. I learned to be my own best friend. I begin my relationship with myself, I marry myself! But that love are not included white lies. I'll be true if I really did something wrong, that way I can correct problems and find solution. One day my friend told me that going to a psychiatrist is a waste of money. But experiences told me that it's not wise to receive any help (advices included) from anyone who don't really listen. By listening, people understand, when they don't listen but perceive what's going on with their own head, they judging subjectively. Any help they give will not ends well. That's why I don't listen to his advice and talk to my psychiatrist.
It appears that the root of all my problems was ADHD. She gave me drugs and I already have my medication for more than a month and a half now. That decision change my life, because it build a bridge between me and my parents. It connects me to people that supposed to have close relationship with me. It calm my anxieties and help me to focus well. No more misunderstanding, and I got respect that I deserve.
So I conclude now, that key happiness is finding yourself, and embraces it kindly. When you already did, it will open a way, little by little.
No comments:
Post a Comment